The Ides of March

Me?  Call me an idiot (and I'm sure some will), but I absolutely loved it.

The first time I watched it was with some serious distractions.  I have a friend who only likes the episodes that have Autolycus in them, and it always happens that he ends up at my house at Xenatime on the weeks when the most serious eps are going down ("Maternal Instincts", "Sin Trade I" and II, "A Family Affair").  It's like being trapped on the MST3K ship while they're showing a GOOD movie.  Granted, some of his snarky comments this time around were funny, but as a result I missed some key things, including the bit where Callisto was warned to cause no physical harm to Xena.  Thanks to everyone who pointed that out.  I wish I'd known that watching the climactic battle for the first time - it would've had even more of an impact, for sure.

It was harder to watch the second time, because I knew exactly what was going to happen.

First, my only two quibbles about the episode, just to get them out of the way:

1.) This episode neatly and (almost) satisfyingly tied up the biggest threads of the fourth season.  I say "almost" because by not leaving anything up to the imagination at the very end, TPTB didn't leave much of a "cliffhanger" to take us into the summer.  More on that later.

2.)  After Brutus confirmed that it was snowing up on the mountain, did we really need to see The Vision again???  It's already been pounded into our heads repeatedly all season, and we know it's coming to fruition in half an hour - what's the point?  A little subtlety can go a long way.  TPTB should try it sometime.

Here we had the umpteenth return of Callisto, and for me it worked.  I wasn't entirely surprised to see that Dahak had sold her a bag of goods regarding her being able to find oblivion at the end of the hind's blood dagger.  He wasn't exactly the picture of integrity, was he?  I liked her look, too - very crazed.  Hudson plays the part so well.  It was great to see her back.

The concept of Callisto being in Hell instead of Tartarus also follows, once I think about it.  I remember someone (was it RJ Stewart?) stating some time ago that as the show goes on, it is going to center more and more around the decline and fall of the Greek gods.  That makes sense to me: the Greek gods aren't really evident in today's world, so they have to have gone somewhere.  What have they been replaced with?  The monotheistic Judeo-Christian concept.  Whether or not the viewer adheres to that belief system (myself, I was raised Catholic, but I'm getting over it :), you can't deny that that belief system has had the most influence on today's Western society.  If the Greek gods are going down, it makes sense that the heaven/hell thing is going to step up to replace them.  I agree with those who have said that TPTB are going to have to be really careful where they tread, now that they're getting closer to living religions.  I hope they don't go to that well too often in the next year - but I'm intrigued to see how they're going to bring Xena and Gabrielle back.

And yes, we know they're going to have to bring X&G back.  That's the problem - instead of having the final fade to black being a shot of our sheroes hanging on the crosses, thus leaving something up to summerlong speculation (are they dead? Will they get rescued before they die, or will someone have to bring them back?), we see them turn into angels and get the proof in the disclaimer ("Xena and Gabrielle were killed during the production of this motion picture").  What a boring summer this is going to be.  At least last year we didn't know if Gabrielle was killed or not.  Better to leave the question open, and have the disclaimer say that they were "harmed" instead of "killed", I say.

Amarice is still traveling with the dynamic duo (I wonder how many adventures they had in between leaving the Amazon village and the start of this ep?).  This week, she has a clear purpose: she fulfills the function of the chorus of the Greek tragedies, as she expresses the opinions of the viewers regarding Eli and Gabrielle's Way ("Let's see if your love can get us out of this one", etc.).  We're not the only ones questioning whether the Way of Love really makes sense for Gabrielle.  Amarice's comments obviously give Gabrielle something to think about too.  True, Gabrielle has already considered the implications of her choice (going back to her comment at the end of "The Convert" about "sometimes you have to shove back"), and in "Endgame" she has already shown that she is not afraid to lead troops into battle in the cause of the greater good.  This week, we first see Gabrielle dump the thug threatening Amarice into the drink (gee, I hope he could swim, or that little plan definitely backfired ;), then at the end, further tying up the threads introduced in "A Good Day", Gabrielle not only throws a spear to save the life of another, but she doesn't pull the throw, and this time the spear finds its mark.

When Gabrielle started going off on the Roman soldiers, even my friend shut up.  We were sitting there with our jaws on the floor, and when it was over we both said "Well, THAT was unexpected."  It was Gabrielle's finest butt-kicking hour, and even though I was agreeing with Xena's desperate pleas for her to stop, I was thoroughly enjoying it while it was happening.  Guess she's been paying attention to Xena all these years - she's not half bad with a sword when she's in a complete frenzy!  It was kind of scary when she got it stuck in the one soldier, though - she was trying so hard to get it out, and what she did with it when it finally came loose ... yikes.  Note to self: do NOT piss Gabrielle off by threatening Xena in any way!

So that's the "way of friendship".  I agree with those who have stated that that is Gabrielle's true way: try to avoid violence wherever possible, but shove back when the alternative is to watch harm come to the people she cares most about, especially Xena.  This is different from Eli's "way of love", which is looking more and more like base cowardice every day.  My guess is he is going to be the instrument that brings X&G back and heals Xena's injury so she can get back to her butt-kicking Way.  Whether or not that's by his own choice is still to be determined.  Honestly, I'm not sure.  I don't know what I think of him now - I loved him in "Devi", but since he's gone all messianic, he's been getting progressively more annoying.

And as Xena's conversation with Callisto confirms, she is quite comfortable with her Warrior Way - though despite what she said, I don't think she's over the guilt for her past crimes yet.  (Or maybe the show really is over??? :)

If you'll all indulge me in a moment of mourning:  THEY BROKE THE CHAKRAM!!!  <sob>  How could they do that?!  In "The Xena Scrolls" we saw it broken, but I'd always assumed that it was broken in the course of entombing Ares, since he was let out when Mel Pappas brought the two halves back together, and it broke again when they put him back.  Breaking it now negates the events leading up to "The Xena Scrolls", doesn't it?  Or will history somehow repeat itself?  My theory has been that the chakram is somehow connected to Xena's life force in some way.  I think that got more backup this week: why didn't the chakram simply slice Xena in half when Callisto threw it?  It was obviously flung with a massive amount of force, but it just ran into her and broke.  Granted, it broke her spine in the process, but it didn't kill her outright.  Same as when Alti flung it at her in "Between The Lines" - it should've decapitated her, but instead it just nailed her in the throat.  I know TPTB have no clue where they're going with the whole chakram thing, and they're still not sure whether they're ever going to show us where it came from - but if there ever was a ripe time for coming up with that story, the first part of season 5 is it. (Is anyone at RenPic listening?  :)

The final scene was very well done and excellently edited.  I liked the montage of Caesar's demise interspersed with the crucifixion scene.  Up until the angel bit at the end ... but I've already whined about that.  That was just cheezy.

I do have to wonder what the casual viewer of the show is going to think, watching this.  Since we're online and connected to all the information sources, we know that a.) the show is coming back next year, and b.) Lucy and Renee will also be back.  But what of the people who don't go online or read the magazines?  This episode sure looked like a series finale to me.  Is Studios USA going to have to step up their promotional campaign come September, to remind people that Yes, kids, the show is going to go on?  One wonders what this is going to do to the ratings, which don't need any more excuse to sink right about now.

Random bits:

• Listen carefully when Xena taunts Callisto in Hell with "that's gotta smart".  Here we get the worst slip into Kiwi we've had from Ms. Lawless in a long time.  :)  It's very cute.

• Gabrielle's mehndi are wearing off.  The only reason I can think of for why the design on her chest isn't there in this ep is, TPTB hadn't thought of the design when they filmed the vision back at the start of the season, so they needed her to lose it now.  If anyone else has any more meaningful theories, I'd love to hear them. :)

• Why does Amarice hold her sword like a steak knife???  It seems to me she'd be a lot more effective with it if she didn't hold it upside-down.

• As Xena prepared to leave for Rome and made Gabrielle promise not to follow her, the look she and Gabrielle exchanged was just full of meaning - but unlike when Xena headed for Chin, Gabrielle understands the full story behind what's going on now, and besides, Ares probably wouldn't be into helping her a second time (nor do I suspect would she even consider asking again).  X&G have come a long way since last year.

• I guess intelligence isn't part of the job requirement for being a bounty hunter: the head the one guy is trying to pass off to Caesar as Xena's is that of a man.  Does the title "Warrior PRINCESS" mean nothing to him? :)

• Old Caesar, Julius Caesar needs to have his hearing checked.  Xena, disguised as a centurion nails her fellow palace guardsman helmet-to-helmet with a vicious >>clang<< right in his doorway, and he doesn't even flinch.  Guess those laurel leaves must have a sound-dampening effect. ;>

• Making a chakram kill "short and sweet" would involve tossing it directly at the intended victim, not banking it off every other surface in the room so Callisto has time to grab it, wouldn't you think?

• When Callisto appears to Xena outside of Ceasar's palace twirling the chakram on her finger, what does she say???  I cranked the volume, but I still couldn't make it out - and for some reason the captions didn't come through on my tape. Anyone?  It's something about the chakram, but I don't know what.

• We already knew from "A Tale Of Two Muses" that they had zippers in ancient Greece - now we know they had them in ancient Rome, too.  (Listen when Brutus goes off to take his leak.)

• Where was Argo?!?

• Recycling sets from "Deliverer" and "Locked Up And Tied Down", are we?  (Both the outside and inside of the Roman prison, respectively - am I right?)

• What a nasty way to sneak into the prison: hidden under a pile of corpses.  <shudder>  When Xena got out of the wagon and waltzed through the compound unaccosted, hidden in plain sight, I couldn't help but think of T.E. Lawrence walking right through the heart of a Turkish encampment in his full-dress British officer's uniform.  (He wasn't stopped, either - the Turks who saw him figured no one could possibly be stupid enough to do what he was doing, so they just ignored him.  :)

• Both times Gabrielle and Eli have been in positions of danger together, they've passed the time by meditating.  The first time, in "The Way" Gabrielle learned about what the Way of Love might mean.  This time, Gabrielle achieves for the first time the state of "absolute nothingness" which Eli maintains is necessary in order for healing to be possible.  My question is - if you're doing absolutely nothing and you realize it, aren't you by definition doing something (i.e. realizing)?  My brain hurts trying to figure stuff like that out. :)

• Xena tells Eli, "Come on Eli, get up" when she frees him from the prison.  A foreshadowing of what he might tell her the next time they meet?  Just a thought.

• Is Gabrielle using Xena's sword when she goes off on her rampage?

• When Gabrielle and Xena were being led/dragged off to the crosses, and Callisto was standing nearby catching snowflakes on her tongue, did Gabrielle see her there?  She definitely looked right at where Callisto was, but I couldn't tell if she saw her or not.  Did Xena get a chance to tell Gabrielle about Callisto's involvement in all of this?  I'm guessing no.

• The last we see of Eli and Amarice, they are running into the forest, Amarice constantly looking back over her shoulder as though she's thinking "Okay, Xena and Gabrielle are right behind us -- right?  They'll be along in just a minute.  Right???"  I don't think they would have figured out that X&G weren't following them for some time.  As for why they didn't come to the rescue - Amarice probably realized that she'd be going in alone, and she knew better than to try.

• I agree with what others have said, that the cold probably did Xena in before the effects of the crucifixion, and she called Gabrielle to follow her (into the light -- oooh, Najara would be so proud ;).

It's going to be a long summer ... but at least we only have to wait until the end of September to see the resolution of this one.  (Unlike X-Files, which is going to torture me until November ... argh!)

Episode Rating:  10